Tag Archives: facebook

Sunday Update: My dog reads The New Yorker

It’s Sunday and you’re wondering, is leaving my couch necessary today orrrrr would it be acceptable to re-watch the entire series of Workaholics in one go? Take two: It’s Sunday and you’re one of those people that likes to do things like go to brunch or try your hand at paddle-boarding and you’re wondering: there’s so little time to show everyone how active and busy my rewarding life is! (Guess which one of these I am!?)

Fear not young weekenders, you can do it ALL and you can look at this picture of my dog. Oh! And you can also head over to the sidebar area and like my page on Facebook because we all want to show those bitches in high school how accomplished we are now. Help me get revenge, Facebook style. (I know I’m late to this party but I’ve finally come to accept that my future mother-in-law is probably going to hear me talk about dicks at some point so why prolong the inevitable?)

Now, by popular demand, here’s Tengo reading the New Yorker:

tengodoggy

Now go like my Facebook page so I can quantitatively prove my worth to my family and friends! Thanks for putting up with me!

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Okay Pinterest, You Win, Let’s Plan a Wedding

When I was first invited to Pinterest a while back I thought, ‘sweet I’m part of the in crowd!’ and then immediately after looking at dozens of pictures of cute shoes was like, ‘now what the hell do I do?’ Well ya’ll, I’ve finally come to see why Pinterest and Facebook would be so integral to my female life: I’m engaged bitches! He liked it, so he put a ring on it. (I’ve been waiting so long to say that to you.)

In all seriousness, Matti and I have pretty much been engaged since I was stumbling around Picadilly Circus in London wondering how I got separated from my roommates. These roommates were quick to point this out to me yesterday (we group text because that’s hip):

“I still count the first time with us in London though.”

“Yay totally right before she got lost in Picadilly Circus.”

Thanks for the memories, guys. But after that “engagement” I wore a 2 dollar metal ring on my ring finger until the blue stain on my skin was thicker than the ring itself. Now I got myself a real life adult diamond ring. I cannot help the feeling that I should be dancing in a Beyoncé video — B, holla at a girl. I at least now understand why everyone’s always writing songs about diamonds.

photoring

I’ve seen a lot of people that put out these elaborate engagement announcement cards which I think is fine if you’re really into making cards but I am not. Writing a thank you card, in my eyes, is equitable to running on a treadmill for an hour straight. (Don’t get me wrong I’m super athletic I just don’t like to ever prove it to myself or anyone else.) This is why Facebook is the best. All I had to do was snap a photo of my hand looking elegantly slender in my new diamond and blue sapphire engagement ring, post it on the FB and blamo, everyone knows I’m engaged! (Not to mention over a hundred people liked it which, let’s face it, I never knew I had that many friends). So thank you Facebook and thank you “Like” button for validating my life choices and making me look like I have a ton of friends! Weddings already rock!

pinterest weddingOn to you, Pinterest. I won’t lie, when I was invited to Pinterest I used it for like, a day and then forgot about it. I had like three pins. I’m not too embarrassed of my neglectful “board” making skills but now I understand the charm of the site. Er meh Gerrd. I just want to have a virtual Pinterest wedding. Can I do that, Pinterest gods?

It’s so unfair because there’s no way I can recreate this scene. Look at all the mismatched chairs — it’s so ironically beautiful, or something. And what is that, moss as the centerpiece place mats? Who thinks of this shit. It’s amazing and I want it all. I’ve never wanted to have a party in an old rustic barn as much as I do now. Just like Footloose. Thanks a lot, Pinterest.

This social media craziness is perfect for me too because I live in Austin but everyone I know and love is basically somewhere else with the exception of like five people. Massachusetts, New York, LA, Austin; all my peoples are spread out. How does one deal with this? Someone give me advice. Okay, I have to go now guys, I’m super busy, I have a wedding to plan. More self-indulgent wedding related posts to come, I’m sure.

How do you use Pinterest? Are you a fan? Do you know a cheap wedding photographer? What about good wedding venues? Do they have wedding groupons? Help me.

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