Your Parents Sex Life is a Fun Way to Not Think About our Goblin President for Like, One Minute


“Having sex with your father is like trying to get a worm through a key hole.”

“It’s just that I’ve always had a very sensitive gag reflux and your dad has always been…endowed.”

“Feels like the last time I came I was watching the Mary Tyler Moore Show.”

“Most days it feels as dry as a librarian’s basement down there.”

“I know your dad wants to have sex because he only had two Manhattans with dinner.”

“The good thing about it is I haven’t had to wash our sheets for years.”

“I think I might have that medical thing where your hoo-ha just closes up…what’s that called, pussy teeth?”

These are all things I prefer hearing over anything that comes out of Trump’s hateful gremlin mouth. His face makes me long to be blind. It looks like what happens to your cervix when you leave a tampon in too long. Trump is like your racist dad who has someone to help him spell McCarthyism which is very dangerous.

Okay, so honestly, nothing can distract us from the trash fire that is this current administration but maybe that’s a good thing. We literally can’t look away. Idk guys, hold your loved ones close and join the resistance I guess. Also, parents should have sex but maybe we don’t hear about it so much.

 

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One response to “Your Parents Sex Life is a Fun Way to Not Think About our Goblin President for Like, One Minute

  1. Those sentences make me want to die but you’re right, not as bad as listening to a gremlin.

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