I was about eight minutes into scrubbing the pork and bean juice stain out of the carpet in the large conference room
in hell at work when I began to wonder what my life had come to. Countless hours examining the gender stereotypes embedded in the American power structure, unlimited sleepless nights staying up to write a collection of short essays meant to illuminate the spirit of the liberal Gen Y female experience, and i’m currently earning my way by cleaning up meat remnants from a corporate lunch I wasn’t even invited to (OKAY, FINE I had the leftovers when everyone was finished). ANDDD…This is usually how Monday goes.
What’s that you say? I’m not the only disillusioned millennial whiny baby with a decent corporate job and an ultimate inability to make my creative dreams come true (SO FAR, OKAY! I STILL HAVE TIME GRAMMIE SO GET OFF MY BACK!).
With that being said, Mondays still suck. And can this just be a universal thing? So the following videos are for you, art student who now works as a receptionist at Aloha Dental. And here’s to you, girl that works downstairs at Floyd’s, because I’m sure your dream wasn’t to remember that I get an Iced Soy Chai Latte every morning (although, thanks for making me feel like I’m in an episode of Cheers every morning) and I’m positive it also wasn’t listening to me elaborate for far too long on the “relative flakiness of your gluten free bread” as compared to the Udi’s Brand. This is for you, and me, and the all of us who’d rather be in bed dreaming then at work pretending to be busy so your boss doesn’t see you writing on your blog. Side note: After recently meeting Richard Socarides, the Head of Public Affairs at the company I work for (he also worked for this guy you may have heard of — his name’s Bill Clinton) and subsequently finding out he often spends time at work blogging for the New Yorker, I feel absolutely justified in my blogging work breaks.
Now take a few brief moments away from the menial task you’re trying to mindlessly complete and watch these inspiring/cheesy/makes-being-a-human-worth-it videos. For your health.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post on how I managed to meet Mindy Kaling (the Queen, to you mere mortals), the annoying neighbor character from Up All Night, Sinbad, Shawn White, and watch a live taping of Comedy Bang Bang all in one week! (All for the low, low price of staying on your feet for at least 9 hours a day for like, ten days in a row. It’s called #SXSW, people.)
YOU GUYZZZZZZ. This kid is everything. He has SO many more videos. Watch them all you assholes.
If you’re not crying you have no soul and I don’t want to hear from you. You and Marnie from Girls should go on a date together you heartless animals (And yes, I know that Marnie actually has a heart but that societal expectations and an extremely low sense of self-worth has gotten her into some UGLY situations. But still..)