Have you guys been hanging out without me?


I have officially relegated ya’ll to second cousin I don’t keep in touch with status and I’ve had enough. (I’m beginning to think my digestive system is punishing me for not posting in the form of it no longer working.)

work ecardI got a job, everyone. I started on Monday and deciding what to wear each day has felt like one of those choose your own adventure dates where I ultimately will end up wearing a short skirt in a trampoline factory with my laundry day panties on.

The problem is I hadn’t stepped in the office yet to observe the casual dress cues, the dos and don’ts, the don’t-ever-wear-as-much-cheetah-print-as-Susan-from-Finance-has-on warning. I was interviewed through the interwebs, with two people that work in the New York headquarters, not even the Austin office. The women’s top half, from what I could tell, was dressed with a simple peach/beige button up shirt, presumably from Banana Republic or Ann Taylor. I would have to start becoming okay with shopping at the Loft. I could do this. I was a shopper at heart, anyways.

It was also just a few weeks ago when I realized it was no longer appropriate for me, as a 24 year old, to shop at Forever 21. This was a tough call to make — I had just bought a super cute Mexican inspired high-low skirt and was wearing it doing errands when I was stopped by an eleven-year-old girl who asked me where I got such a cute skirt. Instead of acknowledging the compliment, I stopped, as if  I was tapped by a five year old playing freeze tag, and hoped she’d move on to mortify the next 24 year old dressed like a preteen, who might not take it as such a vitriolic personal attack.

But before the whole I-got-a-job-and-the-world-is-right-again attitude, I had a few breakdowns. Hence the not posting for two weeks. The last two weeks can be characterized by images of Matti playing me the song “True Colors” and “Hakuna Matata” while I watch Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition, and by me buying eight of the same Banana Republic cardigans in different colors and trying on twelve different variations of the same outfit for my first day of work like I was trying out for the lead part in Working Girl 2. There would also be a picture of me shamefully discovering and subsequently, devouring the reality show Below Deck with Matti in the background cupping his face in his hands defeatedly because he’d rather read Murakami while listening to Joni Mitchell than watch most television programming (hands off, ladies).

So it seems I had been out of the game too long. And by game I mean getting dressed and leaving the house. Monday would be interesting. And it was. Mainly in the sense that I didn’t ruin everything I touched. Oh, and being an Office Coordinator AKA Pam Beasley (more glamorous) is nothing like being an After school Director — it seems that children need more directing and coordinating than adults. Also, childcare employees need to get paid more like a billion yesterdays ago. Basically, I spent most the of the first day amazed at the socially accepted practice of writing an email message solely using the subject line. Come to the front office for your package, you animals!

oh, and I also learned this

oh, and I also learned this

I think I’m gonna really jazz the place up and hopefully get some of those “health benefits” I’ve heard so much about over the years. I feel a little rusty, but the Leslie Knope inside of me cannot be silenced–but If I don’t witness some serious office hijinks soon I’m gonna be so pissed.

Yeah Write…it feels so good. 

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13 responses to “Have you guys been hanging out without me?

  1. Hey it’s your cousin callin…. Congrat’s!

  2. Congrats on finding a job! I remember as a teenager resolving never to dress like a boring adult. I don’t think my style has changed much, actually, but I guess that makes me a boring adult now… (>_<)

  3. Congratulations on the new job! Forever-21 has only been around in the UK for about a year or so, so my 30-year-old brain still thinks it’s ok, you just need to choose carefully. And steer clear of that bit at the back of the top floor with all that blinding glitter!

  4. Good luck with the new job.

  5. Congrats on the job! Getting dressed for work every morning is my personal hell. Everyone in my office dresses so conservatively, and I’m just dying to bust out some righteous animal prints or something.

  6. Congrats on the new gig. It’s gonna be more interesting around there, now, I presume. 😉 I love your writing voice. And the Forever 21 thing is a riot!

  7. Remember when I packed dress clothes to wear to my internship in Lodon and ended up basically wearing pajamas every day? Funny post bro I’m glad you’re back!

  8. Good luck! I hope you have more luck navigating the office landscape than I did…not nearly enough office hijinks for my taste.

  9. I love your comment about Forever 21. It was a tough transition but I made it and never looked back. It is nice to have clothes that don’t fall apart when you wash them, or that you can bend over in!

  10. Congrats on the job! 🙂

  11. Balancing work/writing Posts is like balancing Work/School…..entire days disappear and you contemplate “ditching class” (not posting). the only difference is it doesn’t last 4 years and ends in a degree. Good luck!

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