FAQ: “Can you fix this [insert piece of technology]?” – old person
Technology is not a good friend to me and I can’t blame it. While everyone started tweeting in college, I was smoking with my roommate as we watched Freaks and Geeks reruns. It didn’t help that the WORST class I had (New and Emerging Diseases) required each student to start a Twitter and then tweet about the new diseases we were learning about. I decided not to discuss the characteristics of HPV through some bird noise website. I still don’t understand the name Twitter but it works for me and it is a fun and addicting pass time. But that’s NOW. I’m so behind! I was told since I was young I was supposed to be good at technology but they lied.
Thinking about it now I should’ve known technology was not my strong suit; in 5th grade I was the girl who pronounced floppy disks “floppy dicks” and I can still feel it coming out. LaToya Reddick just ate it up. Come on, LT, I thought, what about sister solidarity? No luck; I would hate floppy discs forever.
And so I hated computer class for the rest of my secondary education (except on Fridays when we could play Lemmings). Mostly I only remember Ms. Smith repeating, “a,f, d, f, space. J, k, l, semi, space AND return.” I totally had that row down.
Remember when you used dial-up internet? (If you still do I’m so sorry) I mentioned dial-up to the kids I worked with and they all looked at me like a took a crap all over the cafeteria floor. It was astounding.
“You know? You have to wait for it to connect and it goes like EEEEE-OOOOOO-EEEEEE,” and of course my impersonation of the hideous noise was spot on. I still have NO idea why the connection had to be SO audible. It’s not as if the noise made any sense. I get really upset about dial-up; It was such a hard time in my life. Seriously, I remember countless nights sitting in my dad’s office chair holding my ears to avoid the noise, unable to get up for fear my brother would steal the internet time.
Also, my brother was the one who was “good” at technology, you know, like it’s assumed men are usually smarter at math and science (Patriarchal society, get with it people). Since I was more interested in writing my own renditions of pop songs in my journal I was okay with letting him be the expert. But now, I’m like, what the shit? Why didn’t I stop reading Dream Street fan fiction in creepy chat rooms and start my own website as a teenager? I couldn’t upload a video to anything till college. At this VERY moment, I have no contacts in my phone and it has been that way for a month because I cannot comprehend how to successfully Sync my iphone. Help me. But I am learning. I hope.
I’m more mad that I didn’t the whole brother-being-better-at-technology-thing for what it was: not true. Sure, he went on to get a degree in Civil Engineering from Penn State but he was a mess trying to use my MacBook Pro. So, I got that going for me.
Being a Generation Y kid means being technically savvy. I’m not and that’s okay (for now). But as girls, we had some other stuff we were known for and a lot of THIS crap set up some crazy, heavy expectations for Gen Y girls: Gen Y girls status symbols